When separating, appropriately and understandably, your biggest concern is likely going to be keeping things as normal as possible for your children.  You might have done some Googling, searched Facebook groups, or sought advice from your friends and the same concept keeps popping up…..’nesting arrangement’.  So, what is this new buzz phrase, and is it a good idea for you?

A nesting arrangement is designed to minimise change for the children as much as possible in a separation.  This is done by keeping the children in the ‘nest’ being the family home, while you and your partner take turns living in the family home with the children. 

In principle, one of you lives with the children during your allotted time whilst the other lives somewhere else and then you swap.  That way you can keep the kids in the family home and rent a small flat elsewhere for when you don’t have the kids. It may sound ideal, but in this blog we look at it from a legal and practical perspective so that you can make informed decisions.

Whether a nesting arrangement is a good idea depends entirely on your family circumstances.  If you and your partner have an extremely co-operative and friendly relationship post-separation, there can be benefits to a nesting arrangement.  However, in our experience, the level of co-operation needs to be almost impossibly high. 

Communication levels need to be more cohesive than they were during your relationship and boundaries need to be set and adhered to.  If these protections aren’t there, you may find that a nesting arrangement works short term only and triggers all kinds of unwanted impacts mid to long term both to your family unit and to your finances.

While a nesting arrangement sounds amazing in theory, you are not likely to see many legal experts recommending it because it is often not sustainable and problems normally crop up.  Some of these problems include:

-            It may not be financially sustainable to maintain the family home and a separate premises, should circumstances change that are out of your control

-            If one of you is struggling with the breakdown of the relationship, it can be emotionally very difficult to come in and out of the family home;

-            It is not suitable in relationships where there is any mistrust, family violence or conflict

-            There is a distinct lack of privacy.

The desire to implement a nesting arrangement almost always comes from a good place; your children’s happiness and stability.  However, there are other ways to ensure your children’s happiness and stability, if a nesting arrangement doesn’t work for you. 

Here at Lagom Family Law we have worked with clients who have trialled a nesting arrangement and had it work, and clients who it led to disaster and they come to us to find a fix.  We have seen the good, the bad and the ugly and our top tip if you are considering a nesting arrangement is – get quality advice early and prepare the right agreements, both informal and formal.

Then you can make an informed decision about whether such an arrangement might work for you and negotiate and set in place proper terms. In our experience, it can be difficult to change the arrangement once implemented and this is why getting advice early is important so you can appreciate the full extent of what you are agreeing to prior to doing so.

Our excellent and experienced team has availability to see you as soon as possible and can usually see you within a day or so of booking. You can book a free Discovery Call here or call us at the office on (02) 8379 1835.

We look forward to supporting you through this new chapter of life. Remember, information is empowering and can assist you to make whatever decision is right for you. Our discussions with you are completely confidential which means that you are able to discuss potential outcomes and the process without your partner knowing.

We look forward to helping you.

Author: Kalisha Martin, Senior Lawyer at Lagom Family Law

Lagom is Swedish and means not too little, not too much, just right. This is our philosophy of practice as we aim to provide tailored advice specific for your individual needs - that’s just right for you!

Lagom Family Law is a boutique legal practice lead by Principal Lichee Hogland who strives to achieve the best possible outcome for her clients whilst being approachable and respectful.